New Directions

Many of you have probably wondered where we got the name for our blog. When our kids were setting this up for us someone else had taken Sam's name so the kids named our blog after our family dog, Oscar McCullough.

This leads to our first new direction has to do with this blog site. As time has gone by we've realized that you don't know when we post something. Some have even had trouble writing a comment on our blog. So we are moving to a new site at Caring Bridge. If you sign up on the new site, they will automatically send you an email telling you that we've written something new. Also you should find it easier to write back to us your comments. You no longer will be wondering if we've written a new post.

To log on to our new site use: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sammccullough

We will NO LONGER be adding to this old blogspot sight. So, in order to keep up with us you will have to use this new site.

The second new direction deals with Sam's regime. After our last CAT scan and blood tests, we had a lengthy consultation with our oncologist. After reviewing the scan results and assessing Sam's side effects and much prayer, we have decided to take a holiday from chemo. This will allow Sam's immune system to build up and become stronger and be better able to attack the cancer cells.

Along with this, after a great deal of research, and further consultations, we have ramped up his diet and supplements. Please pray that the Lord will take these and multiply their effects with his supernatural power as Jehovah-Rapha (the God who heals).

This Saturday, Oct. 9th, we will take a third new direction heading south to the Carolinas. This will be for a holiday at the beach in our cousin's beach house. We are really looking forward to some R&R and time away from chemo and feeling lousy. It will be great to walk on the beach and spend some special time with each other and with our Lord. I can just hear the waves crashing and the sea gull cawing and smell the sea air.

The fourth new direction will be heading inland the following weekend to be with our daughter Kristi and her family on Lake Wylie. What fun it will be to see what Darrin's latest project is and what Lily is up to and give them all big hugs!

Pray for Sam's body to mend and heal as he rests in the fresh sea air and in the Lord this next week.

"Some trust in chariots, some trust in horses, but we will trust in the name of the Lord."

Ps. 20:7.

Reports from this week's tests

This morning we got by way of fax from the doctor's office the report from Sam's CT scan on Wed. We were disappointed that they said his situation was "not significantly changed." While things were "stable" only one lymph node was smaller and only by 3mm.

However, Sam's cancer markers in his blood have changed. The CA19-9 was 618 but is now down to 532. Normal is 0 - 37. So you medical types now have your techinical info.

This was Sam's "low" week and he did not have much energy and did a lot of sleeping and dragging around. Thankfully we have no chemo this Friday so he will improve and his immune system should bounce back.

I was encouraged today as I viewed the book of Matthew on dvd and saw Jesus heal the sick and raise the dead.

This is a busy weekend with the Christian Embasy Board in town and at our house for meetings so I'll write more at another time. Keep your prayers coming.

Resting in the Lord

Well you can see how Sam feels about how our visit with the oncologist went this morning. Psalm 37:4 has been a verse that I've often claimed but as you can see today Sam is claiming verse 7 "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him." (He's going to shoot me when he sees this photo on our blog :o)

Today we met with our oncologist and weren't sure what to expect or what he would say. It was the first time we've had a consultation with him since before we started chemo. We had no idea if things were progressing or improving.

Dr. Felice poked around on Sam and announced that he thinks the mass on the liver is getting smaller. He ordered a blood test to check the cancer markers and we scheduled another CAT scan for Wed. morning. Needless to say we left his office feeling more encouraged than we have in many weeks. Everything I've read on the Internet about Sam's unique type of cancer has been discouraging so to hear this kind of report after only two rounds of chemo was good news! Only 1/100,000 cancers are cholangia carcinomas.

Of course good news needs to be celebrated. So we left the doctor's office and went out to Wendy's for lunch. On the way home we stopped by Trader Joe's for some fresh produce and healthy foods. However, we had to celebrate some more. So we put a "healthy" strawberry rhubarb pie into our basket. Back home on the deck we enjoyed a couple of slices together under a very blue, sunny September sky. Sam went on then to literally "rest in the Lord" as you can see in the photo.

His chemo and meds. still make him sluggish and call for naps but I think the contented look on his face this afternoon comes from the good news and his ability to rest in the Lord.

What's next? The doctor had blood drawn and they are checking Sam's "cancer markers" to see if they've improved. Then the office set up another CAT scan for Wed. morning. That should show what's been going on inside of Sam as your prayers have gone up and the chemo has dripped down.

Your prayers and emails and cards and facebook messages have kept us going and encouraged. Keep them coming as they help us to continue to rest in the Lord. We are in no way "out of the woods" just resting in our hammock on our deck :o)

What is "NORMAL"?

Wow! We didn't realize that it's been 2 weeks since I've written on our blog. I guess that's because we had our week "off" without any chemo. It was a wonderful week and we were more "normal". However, I'm beginning to feel like "normal" is only a setting on my dryer. Sept. 3 was our Friday without chemo so the following week had minimal residual side effects - no nausea and less fatigue.

We were able to attend our Christian Embassy Staff Retreat Tues. the 7th through Thurs. the 9th. It was held at Shrine Mont, an Episcopal conference center out near West Virginia. It was a delightful setting and a relaxed program of fellowship and times with the Lord. Sam did quite well and had enough stamina to participate in almost everything. I was program chairman so I couldn't relax like he did. There were games and scavenger hunt and skits to monitor.

During our personal "Date with God" time alone in the woods I decided to climb the mountain to the cross on top. (I had a burden to lay at the foot of the cross. You can probably guess what that was.)

Along the steep climb there are trees with signs for the "station's of the Cross". The Lord truly spoke to me as I read them and sometimes prayed the passages on each sign back to Him. When I got to the top of the mtn. I was surprised to find that the cross was on top of a steep "look out " tower. For those who don't know, I am scared of heights.

I took one look at the precarious wooden tower and wanted to quit. But, I had something to prove to myself and to demonstrate to the Lord so I carefully took a firm grip on the wooden railings and slowly started the climb. The tower got narrower and narrower as I climbed and by the time I got to the top my heart was pounding with fear. It took all the courage I could muster but I laid down on the platform and gave my burden to the Lord in prayer. Once I finished that, I took in the 360 degree awsome views (of course gripping the rail and staying as far back from the edge as possible. )

It was a much needed time alone with the Lord and the climb reminded me a bit of my bicycle hill climb that I wrote about in an earlier blog. This mountain though was much steeper and longer. When I got to the tree with the station of the Cross where Jesus stumbled I too slipped on the pea gravel as I was trying to get close enough to read the plaque. It was as if the Lord said to me, "It's okay if you stumble a bit under your burden. I did too under mine."

Well we came home to our third session (second round) of chemo the following day. It went pretty much like the other weeks. We sit for 5 hours in recliner chairs and wait for the IV bags of chemicals to slowly drip into Sam. He felt fine for most of the rest of the weekend until mid way through Sunday. This seems to be a pattern now. Kristi, Darrin and Lily had come up for the weekend so that was a pleasant distraction from thinking about cancer. Then almost like clockwork, when they left Sam began to feel nauseas. He took his pills and they pretty much end the nausea but bring on the fatique and sleepiness and the weekend ends with ZZZzzzzz's and no appetite. From what we hear, this is much better than chemo in the past.

Pray for my spirits when this happens because I begin to feel alone and contemplate what it would be like to lose Sam. Thankfully by Monday or Tuesday he begins to return to me and the rest of the world. Today he even drove in the Capital Hill to have a lunch Bible Study with some of his guys. They are a great encouragement to him and it's nice to return to "normal".

Encouragement along our way.

There's a mug that sits in our kitchen window that keeps me going when the going get's tough. I bought it a few years ago and put it in my gift drawer for some friend who might need it. I never dreamed it would be us. We're not drinking any coffee out of it because I want it out on display as a reminder, rather than in the dishwasher.

When we are down or having a rough day of doubt we look at it and gain strength from its truthful message.

This week has been similar to the first week of chemo. Chemo took a little longer on Friday. Saturday was a good day for Sam and we were optimistic. However, halfway through Sunday he began to feel poorly. So he took his nausea pills and plodded on. Tuesday he felt well enough for a short bike ride but pooped out later that day. Wednesday was a day of feeling whipped and dragging around without much appetite but he did eat. That evening though he perked up and worked a bit at his desk. So we are real hopeful that tomorrow, Thursday will be a good day. It will be the day his immunities will be the lowest so we will have to be careful. We bought a huge bottle of hand sanitizer and hopefully I can keep him from shaking hands and hugging folks.

Nan had a special day Tuesday with a long visit on the phone in the morning with a special friend and prayer warrior. In the afternoon she got to go see an old college friend from Ohio. Both visits were just what what she needed to keep plodding on. Sometimes when we have our eyes on our circumstances or prognosis' or have been doing cancer research of our own we get discouraged. Then right when we need it HE shows up either in His Word, the Bible or in an encouraging phone call or visit from a friend.

Today I was reading about the man who had been sick for 38years in John 5. He was waiting at the pool for the angel to stir the waters when Jesus came by. "When Jesus saw him and KNEW how long he had been ill, He asked him, 'Would you like to be well?' 'I can't' said the sick man 'for I have no one to help me into the pool.'" I thought, wow! we have so many of you helping bring us to Jesus with your prayers! Thank you ever so much.

Again on August 29th the Lord spoke and encouraged me in my Oswald Chambers' devotional started out with,

"Every time you venture out in the life of faith, you will find something in your common-sense circumstances that flatly contradicts your faith...Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture heroically on Jesus Christ's statements when the facts of your common-sense life shout - 'It's a lie?' On the mount it's easy.....but you have to come down to the valley and meet with facts that laugh at your belief."

We hope these words encourage your hearts as well as you read them.

Weekend Prayer Requests

Sam went in this morning for his second chemo. I stayed home so that his sister, Ann who is a nurse could go along and ask more intellegent questions for us. She will be our "nurse-in-residence" as she is living in our little basement apartment. She also just completed an on line nursing course on cancer.

Please pray for Sam especially over the weekend and following week. They say that the effects of chemo are cummulative so this could be a rough week. We'll try to keep you posted on it. In the mean time pray that the chemo kills the cancer cells without too many side effects. The list of potential side effects can be scary. They tell you everything upfront so you won't be surprised, but everyone reacts to chemo differently.

Along with the chemo, that drips in intraveneously, is some anti-nausea medicine. That really helps, but only lasts about 72 hours. After that he may have to take some pills. He did that on several days this past week and it seemed to help. However, he did feel like he had the flu a couple of days. The bad thing about those achy symptoms is that he can't take aspirin. Pray that he has a good week and is not too wiped out.

This morning after my Quiet Time with the Lord a song was going through my brain.
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His Wonderful Face and the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His Glory and Grace."

I'm trying hard to do this but cancer is not strangely dim yet. Jesus's face sure is wonderful though and I don't know how we'd make it without his Glory & Grace. The Lord is using your emails and comments to help encourage us and help us keep our eyes on Jesus. Please include your last names on your blog comments because we know too many folks with the same first names. We love you all and appreciate each and everyone of you.

Sam - the BUSY bionic man

Thursday Sam had his medi-port put in and is all "hooked up" for his future chemo experiences. It went very well all except for having to skip breakfast and wait until the hospital lunch came at 2PM. He just about licked his plate clean. The nurses were hoping he'd leave his lemon bar for them but he took it home for "afternoon tea"!

They had put him in "la-la land" but he could see some of what they were doing on a monitor. When they woke him up he asked if they had started yet. It's amazing what they can do. The "port" was slipped in under his skin on his chest through a small 2" cut. They made another smaller cut up by his neck to slip the tube down into his vein. He was such a good sport and only complained about the small cut. The port allows him to be hooked up each Friday quite easily and frees him up to be BUSY. However, he's not going to be doing bench presses.

Friday was BUSY from 9 AM to 1:00 trying out this new bionic piece in his chest as he got his first chemo. When that was done he said, "Let's go to Lowes. I want to get a part for my sprinklers. You can go to Costco for pills and ice cream." Is this guy supposed to be sick? They gave him meds along with the chemo to keep him from being nauseous and they seem to be working and are supposed to last 72 hrs. Pray that Monday and beyond go well.

After our errands and a chocolate coated, dipped in almonds Dove Bar we headed home for a healthy home cooked supper with his sister. We explained all our chemo lessons to her over dinner since she will be our nurse in residence.

This morning we dressed for our usual Sat. morning bike ride but opted for homemade Belgian waffles on the deck and a late afternoon hike in the part. Right now he's out on his riding mower cutting the lawn. Is this BUSY bionic guy supposed to be sick? Pray that this continues. It must be all your prayers for us so don't let up. Next Friday's chemo is supposed to have a cumulative effect. Pray that he continues to beat the odds and predictions.

The opposite of BUSY in my mind is being still or resting. There's a wonderful verse that is painted on the front wall in our church back in PA. I had often thought it was a curious choice for an evangelical church to have front and center. I've given devotionals on it in the past but recently it has taken on new meaning and depth and I'm very glad that it was on that wall each Sunday morning for all those years.

It is Matthew 11:28 -29.

vs. 28 "Come unto Me all you who are weary and heavey-laiden and I will give you rest.
vs. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS."

The last couple of days this passage has been featured in my devotionals from Oswald Chambers. He says at one point, "The great solution is the simple one - "Come unto Me." The depth of our reality is tested by these words.........Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once and ask Him to establish rest........"

Space will not allow for me to share the whole devotional but if you can go to My Utmost for His Highest for days 8/19 & 8/20. At one point Oswald even says, "It is the sick man who knows what health is. ......." He goes on to say, " The child of God never prays to be conscious that God answers prayer, he is so restfully certain that God always does answer prayer."

We find that very encouraging as we are storming the gates of heaven for a miracle. We hope it encourages you too.